Pullin my hair out!!!?

OK you guys yesterday my 4 yr old and I were in the car-I was taking her to play putt-putt. She couldn%26#039;t fasten her baby dolls clothes and asked me to fix it. I told her I would as soon as we stopped but I was driving right now and couldn%26#039;t help her. OMG she flipped out. She threw a FULL water bottle at my head which busted all over the car. She kept screaming and yelling and threw a shoe and her jacket which the zipper caught my neck and it started bleeding. She just kept saying she hated me over and over again. You guys we got home-I swatted her bottom and put her to bed-it was another hour before she calmed down. I really don%26#039;t know what to do.


She seems so angry. I%26#039;ve taken her to the Doctor and they just say she%26#039;s spoiled but there has to be more. It%26#039;s like a switch. Her words are heart wrenching and as a mom I am very frustrated and don%26#039;t know what to do?!! Please help me here this is completely OUT OF CONTROL!!!

Pullin my hair out!!!?
your not a bad parent and i think your doing an excellent job raising your child...my 5 1/2 yr old is so spoiled i bet you i can top your child%26#039;s behavior,seriously...since i been watching the nanny show,on tv,i been working on both my kids behavior and its been going pretty good,every once in awhile they act out of control so bad i just don%26#039;t know what to do,but i take deep breath%26#039;s and let them know that%26#039;s not allowed.what seems to work with me is when they act up and they know what their doing is wrong,i either grab them by the hand or pick them up ,not saying a word,but putting in a corner where they can%26#039;t see nothing and keep them in there for how old they are...when they are good in time out sit down at eye level to them and say firmly..why did mommy put u in this corner..and if she tells you why,you then tell her what she her behavior or what she did wasn%26#039;t allowed and if you do that again...and think up something to take away from her and take it away for 1-2 days and its got to be her favorite thing...you will get this taken from you..i do this and my kids really seriously take this affective.as for the hurtful words your child has said to you...be strong you know she%26#039;s just mad at you cause she%26#039;s not getting her way,right then and there,she%26#039;s just like my older child..seriously...make sure when she does tell you those hurtful words that after her punishment is through you address her and tell her that those words that you called mommy made mommy cry and please don%26#039;t say that to me,and tell her you love her etc...things will get better soon,i promise...take some deep breaths and relax and don%26#039;t let your child know she%26#039;s getting the best of you...or else this strategy won%26#039;t work...hope this works for ya,email me anytime too btw!
Reply:make a reward chart for her and only do things she enjoys if she is able to get through a week with out a bad star set out the rules for her like a daily routine and what she is expected to do if she hits you or throws things at you thats a bad mark and time out 1 minute for each year old so as she is 4 she gets 4 mins time out but you have to stick to it and make all the family do so to no treats if she is naughty
Reply:Question, how did she get a full water bottle in a moving car?





It seems like this child needs to experience a controlled environment. If those %26quot;fix it toys%26quot; cause melt downs, we choose others for road trips.





Reward her good behavior with encouraging words and special treats and bad behavior a loss of priviledges. For instance, temper tantrum equals lost time from favorite tv show.





Your daughter does this because she knows it works. She has an effective method for mom control. You have to regain her respect. Show her that this behavior will not get results. Be strong, and most of all consistent. You can work through this.





You are the mom for a reason. You know what is best for her. Follow your instincts, and set her on the path.
Reply:One question....did you take her to putt-putt or turn the car around and go straight home instead?





It%26#039;s normal for that age to throw tantrums....it is their way of exerting their Independence. However, as a parent it is our job to show them that that behavior does not work by ignoring, example, or consequence. Consistancy is the key to getting the message across.





The right thing to do at that point would have been to immediately turn the car around and take her home. By that time, she would have exhausted herself and you would be able to have a small talk. (don%26#039;t try to talk to her while she is screaming...she won%26#039;t hear you.) Keep the talk short and to the point, otherwise all she%26#039;ll hear is %26quot;blah blah blah%26quot;. For example tell her %26quot;you do NOT scream at Mommy. you do NOT throw your toys. no putt-putt for you today.%26quot; and leave it at that.



tanning